It was Ms. Scarlett, in the bedroom, with a pipe

And this is how her lips looked when she committed the crime!

All you need:

Red Lip Liner- I used Nars Velvet Lip Pencil in Cruella (I found it! I found it! I found it under my desk while rearranging my room! Are you confused?  You could read this and this and maybe it will help ya.)

Red Lipstick of the same/similar color- like Jemma Kidd Classic Couture Lip Color in Siren.

A Kleenex!

Translucent Powder- Or if you have any powder on hand like Mineral Power by Maybelline

A makeup brush to apply the powder with- like Ecotools Recyclable Retractable Kabuki Brush

1. Outline your lips with ze liner.

2. Fill in those lippies with the liner

Ho dang!

3. Apply the lipstick over the liner. 

4. Now here goes the money shot that makes this how-to worth while...blot cho dang lips!  Grandmas across the nation are really onto something here.

5. Then, put a kleenex over your lips a-la SARS mask.  Dip your brush in powder and sweep this over your pout.  The absorbancizimic (I'm proud of that made up word) quality of the kleenex and the powder will help take away the lipstick that rubs off easily.

 like onto other people's shirts when you hug them!

 Do you tell people when that happens?  I mean its quite awkward.

6. While you're at it, just put another coat on for good measure.

7.  Blot that baby again.  Now you have 3 layers of red goodness that will last for longtime!

Work it, Miss Scarlet.

The Siren's Song

I used to think that all men in the Odyssey were damn fools for being seduced by the song of the siren.  But now I feel bad for hatin' on those guys because tonight, I too, was defeated by her.

Her song came to me in the form of a clearance sticker at Target.

Have you guys been to Target?  I pretty sure the vast majority of you have.

And ah, those BRIGHT RED clearance stickers at Target that stand out at you from across the store that say:

was:$9.49 NOW:$9.25!

And you're like wow!  What a great deal!  I wasn't even planning on getting an electric knife when I came here, but I just can't pass a deal like that up!

So there I was, a newborn twentysomething, being all grown up and not irresponsibly spending my money on anything inessential

All I had in my basket was water for my fishie, thank you cards, and ringpops.  Was my wallet really going to make it out unscathed for the first time at Target?!

Then, the sirens took advantage of what they knew to be my weakness.

Caitlin's Mind:*do do do do do ah these throw pillows are an interesting coloJEMMA KID LIPSTICK IS ON CLEARANCE?!

Except, when I reached the end cap (slightly winded), I realized that only 1 color was discounted. 

And although that color was nice, Siren was better.

But, Siren wasn't on clearance.

Siren tricked me into believing she was by luring me over with that clearance sticker that she knew once I saw her I couldn't resist!

I thought, ever since I lost Cruella (my favorite Nars lip color-I think she ran away because she got upset I was wearing berry lipstick so much) I've needed a new saucey red lip color that's also named after a villain.

So, I succumbed to Siren's powers.
But she's making me feel pretty saucy when I wear her so I guess it worked out for the both of us.

Inspired by

Gretchen's (the hot blonde in the photo with me) sister Jackie made this meat dress for Gaga's Japanese Vogue spread.  


HOW AMAZING IS SHE.

fiiierce.